True story that happened to me on 09/25/2014.

So earlier today I was bored with nothing to do but suddenly I had the idea to go out and get something to eat since I was hungry and my paycheck just came in. I put on a pair of sock which have been dirty from wearing them a few days in a row then I slip on my shoes. Not before I lock my door for the unnecessary safety of my things, I turn off all the lights to conserve energy and walked out my door to lock it. I walk up the steps, hungry for the crispy tenderness of chicken fingers and a tangy side of sauce served within the new chicken restaurant of 14th and P street. As I reach the top, I realize it’s a bright and warm sunny day, a day of which is perfect for a walk, which I did earlier today.

I walk past my neighbors and see the old woman who usually visits my neighbor who is also elderly named Mae. “Hello! How are you doing today?” I said to the lady.

“I’m doing fine, thank you!” The white haired woman replied.

“Where’s Mae today?” I asked because I noticed that her car was missing and I thought she would be off however it was strange to see her friend there when I didn’t see her.

“She’s in there.” Said Mae’s friend as she points to her front door. As she pointed, Mae started to step out. I see her and give her a friendly wave. She waves back.

“Hi!” Mae said politely.

“Hey there!” I replied to Mae. Mae looked like she was going to say something but I let my mouth burst out and say, “I’m going on a little walk today!” I said loudly, not telling her the details of my directive and without letting her say something. I do that a lot sometimes and I feel like that might be a little rude.

“Oh that’s nice, have fun!” Mae said politely once more.

“I will. Thanks!” I replied and took off to selfishly satisfy my hunger.

I reach P street and I turned right towards west and I continue walking. As I walk, my ankles were still sore from standing hours on end for the job I work at from the day before. As I walk down on P street, I see a dark skinned older gentleman who is talking to a few people as they walk by but doesn’t leave his spot. Maybe he knew those people but couldn’t leave his spot because he was waiting for something. Maybe he was waiting for the bus. A bus usually stops by that location. Or maybe, this man was homeless and he was asking those people for money.

The very thought of this man being homeless almost makes me cringe with fear. After all, I ran into another homeless man who was white and said he “hated me.” I was so scared in that moment, thinking that the other man was going to harm or something. He looked like he could possibly kill someone and the way he approached me was very suspicious. He kept his hand behind his back like he was going to pull a weapon on me and I became even more frightened. What’s worse was that I didn’t have much money at the time but he was still able to talk me into giving him some cash. After that moment, I was frightened and angry towards any man who appeared to be homeless. I was angry because I felt obligated to give something yet I was person who needed that same something but I gave this man from my past some cash anyway.

Now, as I saw this man who looked like he was asking people for some change, that same fear didn’t exist because now, I do have some money to give and if this man would ask me to give, I could possibly give it to them. Unfortunately however, I didn’t have any money with me at the moment and because I didn’t have any money, I thought about walking a different path to ignore him all together. But my path was a selfish one on to satisfy personal hunger. Besides, I shouldn’t be afraid of based upon their appearance. He may not even be homeless.

I continue down my path and as came to him, I greeted him and asked how he was doing. He said he was doing fine and asked me the same thing. I told him that I was doing fine but that’s when the elderly dark skinned man got curious and asked if I was really doing fine and asked me for a favor. At that moment, I started to get a little nervous. There was no doubt in my mind that this man was homeless. And that the only reason why he would stop me was to ask for some money. In a way, I have money but was I willing to give it to him. I would find out moments later.

“What do you need?” I said foolishly even though I know what he needs.

“I need some help man, a lot of help. I need you to give up some of your cash to help he get things going in life, can you do that? I only ask for five dollars.” The poor man pleaded. I knew it! He did need money! And here I was thinking he was waiting for the bus. At that point, people would try to politely say they can’t offer him anything, or ignore him or just run away screaming. I didn’t do any of those things. I’m not exactly a no person so I let my positivity stand its ground and ultimately choosing to help this man but I didn’t have any money on me. I told this man that I didn’t have any money but he was bold enough to say “I don’t believe you.” I tried to offer him what little I had but it wasn’t enough. Finally I told him that I was on my way to an atm to get some money and that’s when he said that he’ll come with me. Feeling slightly pressured but happy to assist, I let him tag along. He then confessed that he didn’t need five but twenty, something that could help him a lot better to get his life up and running.

On our little quest to get cash, he started talking about his days in Vietnam and how much of a hell it was to live through. He also talked about the things that are going on today and how all the things that ISIS was doing was making him angry. I totally understood him. We both had an understanding that the world should be more loving than being a hateful world. The world would certainly be a better place if it were more loving.

Then the man talked about a mind-blowing event in his life. He talked about a time when he was more than willing to donate a ton of cash when he had the cash. Okay, that was interesting but that wasn’t the mind-blowing part. He said to me about a time when he gave about $100,000 dollars to the University of Nebraska. This man who was very poor and needed some money to get by in life and he said that he gave so much to an institute of education and I’m standing there thinking, “Wait what? Holly S@#%! That’s a lot of freeking money! Why on earth would he give so much away? Scratch that, why on Earth are people like him are being forgotten?” It just threw me off that this guy had given so much away and yet was living a broken and desperate life style. Right then and there, I knew I had to help this man.

The man who I was directing towards where I get cash also talked about his family that he had a wife and kids and by the sound of how much this man loved his woman, that woman was very beautiful. He talked about when finding love; we got to do whatever it takes to put the other before us. I definitely knew what he was talking about, that’s something that I want to do for a woman and I told him that that’s what I want to do for a woman but I didn’t tell him the struggle of finding a woman to love. I didn’t think he would understand that sort of thing and if we talked about it, it could have led to conflict which I want to avoid when walking with a stranger.

“Do you have family?” The older man asked.

“Why yes I do. I have a dad, a brother and sister…” I said explaining my family situation before the man would interrupt me.

“No, no, no! I mean personal family. You seem like a family person.” The man said assuming that I may have kids of my own. To me, that was a flattering quote but unfortunately, I didn’t have a family of my own like he described.

“No, I’m afraid not. I also have a half-brother who I love like he was my own.” I explained to the man.

“Ah! That’s good. Family is the most important thing in the world.” The man replied.

“I would like to one day and maybe even marry someone who already has kids. I do love being with kids.” I went on. The man beside me was pleased to hear about what was willing to do for a woman. Given from his reaction, he has probably done a similar thing for his family and knows that he loves them very much.

Finally we both reach the bank which I can withdraw money from and we make it to the atm. The man stays behind a bit and waits patiently for me to acquire some cash. At this point, I started to worry. Recently I was given a new card, a temporary card for which my payment from my job goes to and I only activated a few days before. I was worried that because it was only temporary, it would work on the atm and that our little journey was for nothing. Not giving up hope, I put my money card into the slot to read my information. It was processing, then asked for my pin number and I punched in the numbers which led me to different amount and payment choices. So far so good, I select balances to see what was on my card. When the atm gave me the amount which is on my card, I then selected withdrawal from the machine. It gave me a selection of withdrawal amount options and I remember when the man said that he needed twenty earlier, I selected the forty dollar option. I figure that would be enough for him to save and to get up and running again. After I selected that option, the machine spat out the forty dollars as I intend the machine to pay and gave myself a loud “Wahoo!” Because I knew I can help the man which his desperate situation.

I walked over to him to deliver the good news and gave it to him. The man was amazingly grateful for what I had done for him and he gave me tight hugs and kisses on the cheek for his gratitude. I was slightly uncomfortable by that gesture but I didn’t care. I loved the fact that I could bring someone hope and joy just by giving so little to him. It wasn’t exactly little on my behalf but for the most part, most people who have money would call it little.

The man kept hugging me and kissing me on the cheek for his gratitude. Words could not even explain to how happy he was. He kept on saying thank you and God bless you and I said the same to him. I also wished him luck on his journey with God and started to walk away. As I walked away, the man started singing with joy for what I have done. I couldn’t help but laugh at how happy he was. I find people’s joy and happiness to be a bit humorous.

As we both part our separate ways, I head back home, knowing that the journey I was currently on would put me into financial trouble.

I’m going to try something new.

Hi! I’ve been writing things for my blog that I thought would help people but sometimes, I just hit a wall. Like right now I’m hitting a wall and I don’t have anything useful to write down for now but what I want to do to be consistent with my writing is that I’ll write small fictional stories that I hope would be entertain for most. After all, I do want to become a fiction writer so starting Monday, I’m going to write fictional stories and I hope that I’ll get positive results as soon as possible. I’ll also try to work on writing things that people deem useful but for now, like I said, I’ve hit a wall but I’m going to continue writing. Thank you all for reading my post so far!

How to actually make a difference.

The Ice bucket challenge! It seems that’s what everyone is doing nowadays and it’s like this competition to see if you’re brave enough to poor some cold water all over you. If you want to talk about bravery, try doing it in winter sometime! Let see if you’re brave enough to do that! But lets be honest here, all these people that are taking the ice bucket challenge really aren’t making a difference. Not just because many are doing the challenge and not donating but the only reason why so many people are doing this is because it’s a popular trend and not because they want to make a difference. Not to mention that I remember seeing this one video of a guy being literal to the ice bucket challenge stating that what is actually being donated to the als corporation is that so little is going towards finding a cure and more towards people’s salaries who research the cure and to awareness.

When I saw that video, I thought for a moment, that is just being a dick but then I realized that he had a good point stating that only about seven percent actually goes towards the cause. When you’re doing something because it’s a popular trend or because someone dared you to do it, you’re not really making a difference. Let me tell you how to really make a difference:

1. Giving to those who really need it. Though it is true that the als corporation really needs money to find a cure, it’s going to be a very long time before they actually find that cure not to mention that there is so little being used for the cause. If you really want to make a difference, start by giving someone some money that really needs it or by offering those who are starving some food. Why and how does it really make a difference you might ask? Well for one thing, you’re giving someone hope and they can recognize you for what you’ve done. Do you really think someone with als will have hope when you give to the als corporation? Buddy, he or she may not even know you let alone 98 percent of the people who are giving or taking the challenge and he or she may not care because you’re not contributing to that person’s life specifically.

There are many ways to give and I don’t mean just giving to the homeless. Like giving a child a toy to make the kid to feel special or paying for someone else’s meal when you enter a restaurant or maybe just paying for someone’s hospital bills for when someone is in the hospital. Yeah I know, that lat one seems impossible but you get the idea because doing these things can really make someone’s day and who know maybe light up the rest of their lives.

2. Using your time to influence others. This is another way to make a difference because now more than ever, everyone rich or poor really needs a hero. The reason why this makes a difference is because giving your time to someone else can really make someone feel special and when someone feels special, they feel happy. That what matters right? Is happiness? But here’s the thing, not everyone’s happy and it’s very unlikely that everyone can stay happy. Sometimes people are so unhappy, all they really see is negative no matter how much help they get. so what do we do? I mean it’s not like we can just make someone happy can we? We can’t but that doesn’t mean we can’t do things that will encourage happiness.

3. Encouraging others can really make a difference. Here’s how, when you give positive reinforcement to those who are struggling to find happiness can encourage them to feel better. Another way to encourage people not to give up on things. Just saying “You can do it!” is motivation enough for most people to move on and do better in life. The catch is that this is something you have to constantly do for someone in order for that encouragement to really mean something other wise the person will just revert back to being unhappy. This is not something you can do just once. Using your time to make a difference in someone else’s life take time in of itself.

4. Finally, doing something different than what everyone else is doing can also make a difference. Going back to the ice bucket challenge for example. There are a lot of people taking this challenge and most are not doing it any different than anyone else who has taken it. Rather than taking the ice bucket challenge, why don’t you use your time and resources for a person who has als. That’s certainly different than taking the challenge because you’re doing more impact someone’s life. There a book on this, it’s called Tuesdays with Morrie where it’s about a man who had als but still had made an impact upon his students and his students wanted to help him with his needs like just meeting up with him in general and holding the pee bucket for when he had to pee. Yeah, I know, that sounds gross but it still impacted Morrie greatly when his students did those things for him.

You can make a difference in so many ways and not just giving money to someone or a corporation. All you really need to do is just act and not make it such a big deal for the world.

My thoughts on racism and the Ferguson tragedy.

I notice that a lot of people, my pastor included are talking about the death of an innocent 18 year old man and how police brutality is affecting our country and I can’t help but wonder, is it really appropriate to talk about? I mean what if no matter how good our intentions are, how do we know if we’re not coming off as racist ourselves? I certainly fear saying something racist. I’ve said a lot of stupid things in my life after all, just ask my pastor. But when I listened to his sermon last Sunday, he said that this is an issue we simply can’t ignore. Despite my fear of saying something hateful, I agree with him. I believe that racism is an issue that needs to be adjusted.

Often times, I don’t like talking about topics from the news because I feel like I can’t do anything to help. When I can’t help, I feel pretty useless and that’s a feeling I don’t like. When I see a tragic even like the one in Ferguson, I think to myself, what can a white person who lives in another state that’s so broke, he’s pretty close to being homeless can do? I think hard on the situation and realize that I can’t do anything to physically help but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t speak up. I recently read from an article that if I stay silent, in some way, I’m supporting oppression and that’s what got me motivated to write this article.

I hear every day about people suspecting trouble from someone who has darker skin and that people of other races worry that individuals who have darker skin would do something harmful against them. I never had a reason to worry but to be fair, I think I look more menacing than anyone I’ve ever come across.

I think it’s unfair to judge someone based upon their race because race isn’t the reason why crime exist. Not to mention that no one should judge someone they don’t know and that last phrase should speak for itself on why, because they really don’t know them. How on earth can you believe that another person could be a trouble maker when you don’t know them yourself?

For those of you of thinking that I’m just some “white boy” and I’m only speaking up because of popular opinion that I’m secretly a racist myself, just so you know, I hate you for that. You’re telling me because I’m white that my opinion shouldn’t matter and I’m only speaking up to suck up to people, shame on you! I’m trying to speak up for what I believe and for that, no matter what my race is, my opinion should matter.

What I don’t like about people talking about women to take off their shirt.

Now here’s a big topic. Women taking off their shirts in public. Weather it’s breast feeding, self expression, or objectifying a woman, people now more than ever are talking about women taking off their shirts. Why is this such a big deal? Why is it so controversial. For one thing, it has a lot to do with porn and how it’s negatively affecting our society.

How porn is negatively affecting our society is that it’s objectifying women giving out a message that women are mere objects of pleasure but not an actual human beings. Another thing is that it sends a negative message to every woman that a figure seen in a pornographic photo or video is what a woman should look like. Ever since people started posting pictures of what society believes to be beautiful women, it has made women drop their self esteem to low and dangerous levels to the point where women feel like they have to push themselves so hard, it has negative impact upon their bodies. This problem really needs to stop. I don’t know how to stop it but it really needs to stop.

Another way porn has negatively affected our society is that it tells every man on this earth that that’s what they should see in every woman and that’s nakedness and physical attractiveness. This too is also hurting women is because men are picking certain women based upon their appearance. Now that definitely hurts a woman’s self-esteem. “You’ll never have a man unless if you look…” Or “You need to lose X amount of pounds!” And blah blah blah! Men, I’m telling you a message here, STOP OBJECTIFYING WOMEN! It’s very harmful.

Now let me talk about self expression. In some countries, women are self expressing themselves by protesting that they should walk around topless like men do. In these countries, women that do this want to show off their bodies and be proud of them no matter what their figure looks like. They maybe doing it for a good cause but here’s the disgusting part, is that men are agreeing to this! I’m not saying that men shouldn’t agree with women but the way women are portrayed in this society, the only reason I come to believe that men agree with this is to objectify women even more. Just what we need is something to objectify women even more. I’m all up for equality and if this comes to be, maybe in the future, women will be less objectified towards men as they are today but right now, I think it’s a bad idea because men will find pleasure in that type of thing.

Quite frankly, I wish that everyone would just keep their shirts on. The topic of shirtless people doesn’t only affect women but it affects men too. Today, women can get sexually aroused by men with their shirts off just like just like men do when they see women with a shirt off and I’ve come to conclude that is why everyone needs to wear a shirt.

As far as breast feeding in public goes, it’s kind of a natural thing and that’s not from a guy promoting that a woman should do it, but maybe what men need to do is not stare and make it such a big deal than it is now. That way, when a woman breast feeds, she’ll do it in peace like she expects to and I believe that women shouldn’t make it a big deal either if they’re not breastfeeding themselves or if they’re uncomfortable by it. Breast feeding is a natural and she’s doing it because she has to for her child. She’s not promoting promiscuity or anything. She’s not a slut for it. She just has to do it. It is sad that when a woman breastfeeds, people think she’s being a slut but that’s just society objectifying women talking. There’s nothing wrong with it.

This opinionated letter was written by A-Rob who lives in Lincoln Nebraska, goes to church community called Mosaic.

No I’m not dead nor have given up on blogging!

Hi everyone. I like to let everyone know is that I’m still alive, it’s just my brain has been dead for a little while but I will have more blog post soon enough. What I have been doing wasn’t exactly productive but there were somethings I worked on like chapters for my book and idea to write in it. Also I’ve been playing video games, watching movies, you know the lazy stuff but if you were concerned, I’m doing alright and I just took a break for a little while. I might have another blog post for everyone within a week or so and my thanks goes out to who are still following me!

Redefining the Sabbath.

I remember a conversation with a friend and he wonder what it really means to take a day of rest. He’s a type of guy that doesn’t like doing nothing but he stated that if he’s doing something, how could he be resting?
The Sabbath is a day of rest for those that are religious. Everyone needs one every now and then especially if someone’s working at a job that’s too stressful. Why does everyone need it? Shouldn’t I be working as hard as I can to get by in life? What if I’m not doing enough work? Okay, questions like these are reasons why people get into comas!
You got to relax every now and then other wise your body will burn out but what if you really can’t relax on the Sabbath. What happens when you take a day of rest, it’s actually more stressful?
Today I’m going to redefine the Sabbath and tell everyone why they need one. Lets start off with work. Sometimes work can be stressful for people and sometimes people love their jobs. Those of you with stressful jobs may wonder, how on Earth can you love your job? It happens and that doesn’t make them weird or anything, some people just really love their jobs but those that love their jobs may think they don’t need a Sabbath where as the people that find their work to be stressful, they may really want a day of rest or two or three or maybe even a month of rest but then they take a day of rest and realize that they’re doing completely nothing. Some may find peace in doing nothing but for others, it just drives people nuts!
The Sabbath is more than a day or rest, it’s also a day of relaxation. I’m talking about doing something that you enjoy most. Weather it’s going to the spa (probably mostly for women), going to a shooting range (probably for men to do), doing something creative (writing or doing art), and various other activities that people can find joy in. That’s what the Sabbath should mean and not just a day of rest because if you are resting but not relaxing, what’s the point in resting? That’s why you need to take a day or so to do what you find relaxing.
Now for all the crazy people that really love their jobs (sorry if that’s offensive), they may think, well my job is relaxing, why should I take a day off? Well in that case, you’re probably taking a life’s worth in Sabbath days and that’s great! You probably don’t need a Sabbath day but I’d still advise that you take one. When you do something enough times, you will get to that point where it drives you nuts. For that, you may need to take longer than a day to have rest. Because if your really love your job and you come across a day where it’s overwhelming, you need to take a break but don’t let it go to your head. If you take too long on a Sabbath to be relaxed then your work may be more required and you could eventually burn out your Sabbath to a point where it’s really stressful.
I hope this post really helps everyone and God bless you all!

Christian views of Judgment and Rebuking

Often times we say and do things that are fun, stupid, and not-so-fun as you’re going about life and some of those things we say and do can be things that we would regret. I know I have said and done some of these things but then suddenly after you have said or done something someone starts criticizing for what you did or said. That’s when our defensive mechanism in our brains starts to process logic and emotions to be ready to say something back which may start a conflict. We exchange words to say our defenses, our point of views when it all comes down to someone is right and the other is wrong.

The one that is wrong may feel like someone who lost a jousting match and sees that the victor is taking victory labs around the loser. It’s like this when we see it in our minds after losing an argument, “Haha! I win! You lose! Neaner ! Neaner! Neaner !Neaner!” Sorry to remind those who have suffered losing arguments in a bad emotional way. For those of you that have been hurt by losing an argument I will get to that in sec but often times this is what happens when someone wins an argument, that they are proud to win and that they had triumph over the other person’s defeat.

I have to admit, victory is awesome but what’s the point in it when you don’t have anyone to support you with it? Instead of being loved, you end up looking like an over condescending jerk that people would rather avoid even when you’re with friends. Some would say that, “I’m rebuking them!” as an excuse but how are you rebuking them when all you’re doing is making the other feel worse and not making the situation any better?

This is a wrong way to go about a conversation. When you’re in an argument just to win it, you’re not rebuking someone, you’re judging them. Let me explain the differences between the word rebuke and the word judge:

To judge is to form a strong opinion against something to disagree with. Often time’s people would base their opinions on fact to prove that they are right and the other is wrong but sometimes when someone judges someone, they may be wrong themselves or lack all the details to prove that they are right but still say they are.

To rebuke is to discuss sharp disapproval and criticism because of one’s behavior. When you look at this, it sounds an awful lot like judgment doesn’t it? Yeah I know, there will probably be some people that stop reading after this. I’m sorry if that’s how you feel but the idea is not to cause more harm but to let others know to cause less harm.

Let me say a couple bible verses, “Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse. Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.” –Proverbs 9”7-9 Notice that the word “rebuke” comes after the word “correct”? The bible is telling us to not only find the faults in others but to provide a better means, a solution, to why someone is doing something wrong. When a child is doing a math problem and he or she is doing it wrong, the child is not going to want you to say that it’s just wrong because how does that help someone get it done the right way? No! You got to walk someone through a math problem so that they will get it done the right way. If someone isn’t doing something right then you got to say that he or she is wrong and provide the right solution. That’s why when you instruct the wise so that they will be wiser and they will love you for it.

There’s an old saying, Give a man a fish and he won’t go hungry for a day. Teach a man to fish and he won’t go hungry for the rest of his life. This phrase really fits well with those Proverb verses that I said earlier because it would be wrong to just provide a fish for some because that won’t last long and it’s more wrong to just say “you’re doing it wrong!” Seriously, how does that even help? No, instead, teach someone what is right and they will be wiser and they will love you. That’s what it means to rebuke.

But looking back to those verses often times we think what are we, a wise man or a mocker and who do those two words belong to? Let me say another few verses from the same Proverbs chapter, “If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.” –Proverbs 9:12.

Now that’s a really scary thought. I know what some of you are thinking, “Yeah, way to go to promote the whole judgment vs. rebuke thing. That’s a good way to represent the church!” First of all, I’m not representing the church, I’m talking about a way to show love for the church and second, just because the words are not very encouraging does not mean that you will automatically go to hell.  What it means is, do not play the “I’m the one that has to be right game!” but to learn from the other’s perspective.

If you are someone who believes that someone or a group of people is constantly judging you and you aren’t reaping any benefit from the judgment and you think that the church isn’t the right place for you. I’m sorry if that is what you feel and that was not the intention of the church to scare you away. Jesus loves you for the way you are and you shouldn’t have to be judged but if you don’t like what people have to offer you and people are trying their best to help you, don’t be so discouraged by what someone is trying to do for you and just accept them for who they are and love them for what they are doing. Remember, Jesus loves all and he is the way of truth and love when you see and know him and I hope that god will bless all even if you feel like you’re struggling.

Why Women need to stop going for the bad boy!

This might just be some guy saying this wishing that a girl would pick him instead of the “bad-boy” but that’s not important right now. What’s important is that there is a number of women out there that are in a dangerous relationship because they went for the bad boy. Today I’m going to tell women why it’s not a good idea to pursue a “bad-boy” for a relationship:

Because it’s dangerous: And yes, dangerous in a life threatening way. Everyone likes a rebel, I get that because he doesn’t want to be bound by the rules and he he’s a free spirited mind. There’s nothing wrong with free spirited mind but when it comes down to a dating and a relationship, there are specific standards that a guy should not break. 

I’m talking about a guy should always put a girl before him. With a “bad-boy,” he’s not so willing to do such a thing. He may still want to remain a free spirit for the rest of his life and for him to get into a relationship, it may harm his free spirited mind in which he’ll make compromises that will not only hurt a woman but himself as well. Ladies, if you meet a “bad-boy,” and for some reason you find him attractive, do yourself a favor and don’t get into that kind of relationship. You may walk out of that relationship very hurt and broken in which it may impact your life in a negative way.

Because these kinds of relationships are abusive: Not all these types of relationships are the same though but the resulting effects from these types of relationship can be equally harmful. Weather it’s physical abuse, verbal abuse, or if it’s just to break up with you for no reason at all, these types of relationships are dangerous and harmful. I see too many women get into a relationship with a guy and almost immediately, those men start insulting the women they’re with. Honestly, I’ve no idea what to say towards these situations. When I hear these things go down, some anger boils down inside of me but I decide to do nothing about the situation because I feel like I may just make the situation worse and ultimately, it’s only something that concerns them.

Another way for a relationship like this to be abusive is if the guy for some reason gets too paranoid with her and gets jealous for meeting up with other people, he may take drastic actions and say things about her appearance that isn’t true, talk about things that she wouldn’t do, and tell her that she can’t go anywhere without him. He’s being too possessive and lacks a lot of trust in a woman but trust is key in a healthy relationship and if he doesn’t trust you, it’s not a healthy relationship. Girls, you need to avoid these types of relationships.

Because you’re willing to give so much of yourself up just for one person: Don’t ever do that! Girls, you deserve so much more than that and to do so much for a guy that wouldn’t give you so much in return with interest, you’d be wasting a good portion of your life away. Not that a guy has to give more back than he received, he just needs to give to you period! Ladies, you shouldn’t have to put so much into a relationship if he wouldn’t do so in return and you shouldn’t be so forgiving either.

If a guy says or does anything harmful to you and he constantly does it then forgiving him may not be the right course of action. Instead get out and go somewhere safe. A guy no matter what should ever do that to a woman! I don’t care what you tell yourself into fooling yourself that you love him. This is not a good relationship for any woman to be in and if you say other wise, you’re only going to get even more hurt and he certainly won’t change anytime soon which brings me to my final point.

Because you can’t change him: I had a neighbor once who was in a physical abusive relationship and she kept on talking about how he will change but hasn’t. She was easily forgiving of him but that didn’t change him. At some point, one of her kids came over to my place and told me that his mom’s boyfriend was beating on her. That’s when my dad called the cops on him and then he was arrested for domestic violence. What would have happened to her if her son didn’t cry for help. I don’t know because she’s safe now but there are times when someone gets so abusive that they end up killing the person they’re abusing. Ladies, ask yourself, is that really worth going for the “bad-boy?” Not is not and please don’t say otherwise. This may not be the case for all bad boys but it is a good example for most which is why ultimately all you girls that read this need ton avoid start dating a bad boy. It may seem like a thrill joy for a moment but if you manage to stay in long enough, it can be harmful and that’s not worth getting into.

I hope this post was helpful for future women and may God bless every woman to find a good man to date!